Z-Listers at Z-list re-launch of 24 Club<div id="teaser2">It was a pure soup sensation at the re-launch of the 24 Club in London last night. Poor Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace had her bottom groped by a soupy looking fellow but she didn't seem to mind too much. Elsewhere at the party, the guests included Michelle Gayle, Samanda, Narinder from Big Brother about four years ago (Lord help us for knowing that), Jenni Falconer, Konnie Huq, the feral one from Hollyoaks and David Van Day. Soup o'clock!</div>

New Look Autumn/Winter 2009 party<div id="teaser2">The New Look Autumn/Winter party at the Dairy in London attracted only the most cutting edge of fashion-conscious celebrities. And Peaches Geldof. Also at the high street chain celebration were Nikki Grahame (pictured), who's managed to go from looking 15 to 45, Liz McClarnon, Samanda, Melinda Messinger and Jessica Taylor. Soup ahoy. More pictures after the jump.</div>

Hello Halle...<div id="teaser2">As the Mexican premiere of Wolverine had to be postponed due to the outbreak of swine flu (we already brought you the tragic news that two of our most finest UK imports, Chanelle/Chantelle (as well as Pete), could be suffering from the illness) so it was moved to the comfort and safety of LA. Also at the premiere: Mel Gibson, Angelica Huston, her nephew Jack (boyfriend of Cat Deeley), Hugh Jackman, Mr Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Reynolds, and of course the gorgeous Halle Berry. More pics after the jump.</div>

Peaches keeps us updated with Twitter<div id="teaser2">Thank God for social networking site Twitter (Peaches' page in particular), otherwise we'd be deprived of pictures like this. And profound thoughts like: "Wish I could see a rainbow in the night go across the moon with a unicorn jumping across it to my window..." *slits wrists*</div>

Lindsay Lohan on holiday in Hawaii<div id="teaser2">Lindsay Lohan was busy showing Sam Ronson what she's missing out on in a skimpy white bikini and how living off cans of Red Bull alone can make the weight just fall off. Lindsay was on holiday with friends in Hawaii, indulging in a little light reading of Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Teal Book of Trust. The self-help guide is supposed to enable the reader to create the basis of trust in all relationships, to tell the truth, to always do what you say you'll do, to be consistant, friendly, sincere, and genuine. He's not a miracle worker though, Lindsay!</div>

Look who's getting a pretend beating...<div id="teaser2">Poor Pixie Geldof and her friend hid their faces as two revellers pretended to attack and hurl abuse at the pair as they left Bungalow 8. 'Luckily' neither girl was hurt and, besides, they had Bottom (pic 5) to protect them. Or not.</div>

Whose tasteful temporary tattoo is this?<div id="teaser2">Peter Andre's, of course! Peter remembered his Sharpie marker pen and managed to spell Jade's name as he wrote it down his forearm to run the London Marathon with Jordan yesterday. Unfortunately, Jordan suffered a leg injury on the nineteenth mile but made it across the finishing line in seven hours. Also running: Gordon Ramsey, some of Boyzone, Nell McAndrew and BB's Kate Lawler. More pics after the jump.</div>

Guess the famous forehead...<div id="teaser2">Can you guess who seems to have replaced their skin with rancid latex?</div>

Nancy Dell'Olio in London last night...<div id="teaser2">Nancy Dell 'Olio is going to turn into Mahogany Man, designer Valentino Garavani, unless she becomes less generous with her portions of fake tan... If you're going to do the face, don't stop at the neck! Nancy was at the Groucho club last night with Joan Collin and her 55-year-old toyboy, Disney brat Miley Cyrus and unlikely couple, Natalie Imbruglia and David Walliams. More pics after the jump.</div>

Dazed and confused<div id="teaser2">Although we are in no way suggesting that these two are under the influence of something, but supposing we were, what do you think it would be? More pics after the jump.</div>

Guess the ribcage...<div id="teaser2">Lindsay Lohan needs to lose a bit weight, doesn't she?</div>

London last night<div id="teaser2">As if turning up to a Radox shower gel award ceremony wasn't embarrassing enough, then you end up wearing the same &pound;40 Topshop dress as some other 'celeb' who also turned up... Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson wore matching dresses but refused to be photographed together and Tara was so ashamed she refused to take off her jacket. But at least fellow award attendees Danielle Lloyd and Duncan James didn't have it on too. More pics after the jump.</div>

Put it Away, Please!<div id="teaser2">Correction, this image is far more disturbing than Carol Mcgriffin off her face in the back of a cab with her tongue out and legs akimbo. Amy Winehouse reportedly spilt boiling hot water over her leg when she attempted to cook pasta. Cover it up before it ends up being amputated...</div>

Put it Away, Please!<div id="teaser2">Could this be the most disturbing and stomach churning picture we've ever seen (apart from the close up of Vanessa Feltz)? The Loose Women women were out dressed thirty years younger than their average age for the Calendar Girls play at the Noel Coward theatre before heading to the Groucho. Also out and about were Cilla Black, Christopher Biggins, Gemma Atkinson and Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace. Mor pics after the jump.</div>

Brooke Hogan films new music video<div id="teaser2">Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke was busy giving her failed music career one more try with boyfriend 'Stacks' (perhaps he should try standing on a few) in sunny Miami. Frolicking about on the beach in a tiny blue bikini ought to do it! Pics after the jump.</div>

Spot the celebs (and soup) at Californian music festival Coachella<div id="teaser2">Let's have a look at the celebrities at Coachella music festival over the last few days... Agyness Deyn, Henry Holland and Nick Grimshaw took their soupy contents to the States. They were a couple of Geldofs short on their human pyramid... Cat Deeley and her new boyfriend Jack Huston were there as was Dita Von Teese, Chloe Sevigny, Kate Bosworth and David Hasselhoff. Pics after the jump...</div>

Oh, the glamour!<div id="teaser2">The Now TV Awards in Dublin over the weekend simply oozed sophistication and class. Until of course, all the nominees turned up. We could barely see from all the orange and that was just the outfits. Everyone from Corrie to Hollyoaks and possibly Emmerdale, as there were lots of people we didn't recognise. And Michelle Heaton. More pics after the jump...</div>

Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger reunited at premiere<div id="teaser2">The years really haven't been kind to Mickey Rourke. A decade of be battered about in the ring must have been hard, but then being married to 'the world's greatest actor' Alec Baldwin can't have been easy for Kim Basinger either. The pair were seen at the premiere of 'The Informers' in LA in which they star together after finding fame together in 1986's teenager's wank fest '9 ½ Weeks'.</div>

HM's favourite game: Guess the breast!<div id="teaser2">Lady GaGa of course! She and Paris Hilton have been hijacking the streets of London, and along with Paris' 'new love' Doug Reinhardt, it was soup galore. They partied at Bungalow 8, Raffles and the Groucho club. Jonathan Ross and the Redknapps were at Nobu while Russell Brand managed to persaude another girl to go back to his after an evening at Claridges... Pics after the jump.</div>

The nation's best TV stars (...) grace the red carpet<div id="teaser2">The nominations for the British Academy Television Awards were held last night at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in London. The evening saw some of Britain's best known TV talents turn up, like, er, Liz McLarnon, Claire Goose, Blake Harrison, Rhea Bailey and of course, June Brown aka Dot Cotton. More pics after the jump.</div>

Paris takes her magic eye out for a night in London<div id="teaser2">God knows why Paris Hilton is in London at the moment but she took her famous wandering eye out with new boyfriend Doug Reinhardt last night. Also on the town were Lady GaGa oh-so-cleverly papping the paps, Pixie Geldox and her odd-shaped face and Nineties pop has-beens Keith Duffy and Liz McLarnon.</div>

Amelle Berrabah leaves Mahiki looking wasted<div id="teaser2">Sugababe Amelle Berrabah is still enjoying the high life since dumping machete-attack-victim boyfriend Freddie Fuller last month. The singer, who turns 25 next week, was seen pulling an amazing array of drunk faces as she left Mahiki last night.</div>

Jordan gatecrashes Girls Aloud's night out<div id="teaser2">These two couldn't be further apart on the skin tone spectrum... If only they were able to meet somewhere in the middle, then they could look almost human. Girls Aloud were enjoying a night out at the Soho Hotel, even when Jordan and Peter Andre turned up to remind everyone that they are back from their trip to the US :(( More pics after the jump.</div>

London last night<div id="teaser2"> 'Twas a soupy haven last night on the streets of London. Kelly Osbourne looked like a startled egg as she left Nobu, Bianca Gascoigne pulled her best ever gormless face as she departed soup central, Venodrome, with best friend and single brain cell sharer, Charlotte Mears. Calum Best was caught sniffing around the Chelsea player's girlfriends, as they celebrated their win at Boujis. He'll end up with another black eye if he's not careful... More pics after the jump.</div>

Tori Spelling launches new book in Beverly Hills<div id="teaser2">What an array over oversized and cosmetically enhanced faces... Tori Spelling was celebrating the launch of her new book, 'Mommywood' *vomits* in LA with some fellow peculiar looking guests. Tori, whose face now seems to be bigger than her entire body, brought her family along and guests including Kim Kardashian, Patti Stranger, er, Lisa Rinna and someone else called Bobby Trendy. More pics after the jump.</div>

London last night<div id="teaser2">There was only a small amount of soup dribbling down the streets of London last night, with 'eccentric' Noel Fielding (he wore sweeties around his neck!) leading the way at the Groucho club. Also at member's only bar were the equally soupy and 'eccentric' HM favourites, moon faced Peaches and Pixie Gedolf (she changed her outfit twice!) and new culprit, Serge from Kasabian. More pics after the jump...</div>

Sienna Miller pouts her way through premiere<div id="teaser2">If you'd thought - like us - that Keira Knightley was queen of the fish-faced pout (as she tries to make her skeleton look like it has more than just a thin covering of skin) then Sienna Miller did her best to challenge her for the title at last night's 'Mysteries of Pittsburgh' premiere in New York. She was joined by Maggie Gyllenhaal with her actor boyfriend Peter Sarsgaard (who apparently met at a "we have double 'a's in our surnames" convention) and hip hop mogul Russell Simmons showing he's still got it with a tall model on his arm.</div>

London's soupy contents last night<div id="teaser2">Our word, what a soupy display on show in London last night. It was the Uniqlo collection launch party at Somerset House, followed by the Barbie launch Party at Mahiki, which was the perfect excuse for all the usual main ingredients of today's bubbling hot soup to overflow on the streets of London. They were Miquita Oliver, Nick Grimshaw, Peaches Geldof, Calum Best, Henry Holland, DJ Ironik and Jodie Harsh. Enjoy!</div>

Peaches Geldof doesn't enjoy rollercoaster<div id="teaser2">Poor old Peaches Geldof lost her cool (and perhaps her breakfast and lunch) on the new Saw ride at Thorpe Park recently enjoyed by Jack Tweed. Peaches pulled an array of unfortunate faces on the rollercoaster but this one was our favourite (although pic number three is quite good too). More pics after the jump...</div>

Sexy, sophisticated, lovely, classy... JODIE MARSH?!<div id="teaser2"> Jodie Marsh has posed for the UK edition of Playboy and shocks the world with claims she's "gone classy". Translation: she's replaced her peroxide hair for brunette extensions and her face isn't entirely drawn on. Jodie said: "I can be classy, I can be a lady and I can be elegant. But I also ride a motorbike and I'm one of the boys and always have been.<br /><br /> "You know I like playing dress up and being somebody else for the day - and then going back to being me, getting back on my Harley and riding off with my tattoos and my shaved head."<br /><br /> We've collected old pics together with her brand new 'demure' Playboy ones... More after the jump and at playboy.co.uk.</div>

Digital Spy Reality TV Awards at Bloomsbury Ballroom<div id="teaser2">Anyone who's ever been on reality TV (well, almost) was at the Digital Spy Reality TV Awards last night at the Bloomsbury Ballroom in London. Among the sea of extraordinarily shiny faces included Chantelle Houghton, Laura White, Becky from BB, Zoe Salmon, Michelle Dewberry, Nicola Mclean and David Van Day. Soup ahoy!</div>

The 44th Academy of Country Music Awards<div id="teaser2">Nicole Kidman almost managed to form a full facial expression (which we think is supposed to be a smile although her eyebrow has a mind if its own). The actress was at the 44th Academy of Country Music Awards yesterday afternoon, joined by her husband Keith Urban, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift LeAnn Rimes and the ugliest man imaginable, who goes by the name of 'Carrottop' and looked like Mick Hucknall would if he were moulded out of wax. More pics after the jump...</div>

Revellers turn out to celebrate Japan's 'steel phallus' festival <div id="teaser2">Thousands of people were out with a giant pink penis in the Japanese city of Kawasaki over the weekend for the annual Shinto fertility festival, where a steel phallus is dragged through the town in a festival centred on the local penis-venerating shine (WTF?). Amazing. Silly foreigners; you wouldn't catch English people flooding into the streets in their thousands to venerate something as pointless as this. Oh...</div>

Not back to Blaaaaaaaaaaaaake<div id="teaser2">Amy Winehouse is back in St.Lucia to escape from Blake and to continue writing and recording music. She also indulged in a bit of topless sunbathing (you have been warned) and some horseriding. According to reports, Amy's record label, Island, are reportedly building a studio next to the house she's bought to try and encourage her to produce some more material for her third album. And she seems to have made a new friend as she was seen hugging and holding hands with a mystery man... More (uncensored) pics after the jump.</div>

Coleen Rooney leads the way at Ladies' Day in Aintree<div id="teaser2"> It looked like there had been an explosion in a clown factory at Ladies' Day at Aintree, with (a possibly pregnant) Coleen Rooney and some other munters dressed at lamb attending the races in Liverpool. </div>

Mel B strips in new 'Peep Show' in Vegas <div id="teaser2">If you happen to be in Vegas and get bored of throwing your money away at the blackjack tables, why not pop along to the Planet Hollywood Hotel where you can pay to watch Spice Girl Mel B nearly get her minge out. Mel debuted her new 'Peep Show' strip show in Vegas last night and here are the pics. Not sure where Mark and Jeremy are but we think that must be Super Hans in the bath.</div>

Why the long face etc?<div id="teaser2">Congratulations to Rumer Willis, for beating off the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker to win the award for The Longest Face/Most Like A Horse in showbiz history (or something). Rumer received her award at the The ShoWest 2009 movie and TV awards ceremony in Las Vegas. Also celebrating their wins were Dennis Quaid, Rachel McAdams, Audrina Patridge, and er, Michael Caine. More pics after the jump.</div>

Kerry Katona returns home after vanishing<div id="teaser2">Relax, take a deep breath and call back that search party... Kerry Katona has finally returned home after going missing for a long and agonising 24 hours. Kerry (who recently did the right thing and got rid of husband Mark Croft only to do the wrong thing again and take him back) was due to attend an interview and photoshoot but switched off her phone and vanished. She returned home this morning in a pair of slippers. An perceptive friend said: "She's gone into complete meltdown."</div>

Before and after?<div id="teaser2"> Valentino, the fashion world's first human conker and HM's favourite Oompa-Loompas, has continued to match his face to that of his leather handbags. He was hosting the LA premiere of 'Valentino: The Last Empire' which included guests Gwyneth Paltrow, Anne Hathaway, Nicky Hilton, Rose McGowan and bonkers millionaire Barbara Davis (pictured here). More pics after the jump.</div>

Will Mellor and Jaime Winstone celebrate England victory<div id="teaser2">Wherever you watched England's 2-1 victory over the Ukraine last night, it probably wasn't as fun as London's Sports Bar &amp; Grill which had no fewer than five celebrities. Actor Will Mellor was there and he clearly knows about football because he's in 'Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps' but Jaime Winstone seemed to fail to grasp the division of Great Britain into its constituent parts for the purposes of football, wearing a Union Jack t-shirt. Her boyfriend Alfie Allen was there as was 'model' Chloe Madeley and Sara Cawood. </div>